Merry Christmas

It’s the silly season and I am starting to go ducking nuts with all the plans and catering in place. However I love Christmas, it makes me all warm and fuzzy and a little mental too!

The ongoing Christmas festivus (no Seinfield) kicked off last weekend with two birthday parties.

This year I volunteered to host Christmas at our house, I bet you are wondering why I would do that to myself well it’s because:

a) we have a young child and it will be easier if people come to us and
b) because we have recently moved into our newly renovated home and want to show it off (in August 2012).

I didn’t think about that one very strategically as I will be cleaning like a fiend in the days leading up, between and after. Lucky I have a handy, helpful and very good looking husband to help me (*bribes).

The entertainment plans are in full swing starting with three Christmas lunches (Sunday before Christmas day, the big one on Christmas Day and also Boxing Day), we have our Christmas street party and my darling husbands birthday as well.

Miss G has really enjoyed the Christmas festivities so far by helping me decorate the tree, wrap the presents and go shopping (apologies to my husband in advance as I am sure Miss G has inherited my over the top spending habits).

We have piled loads of gifts under the tree (with more to wrap), it’s a really exciting time of year.
A few days ago Miss G ran over to me asking me to check out this present “Look Mum, Look” then it started “Ohhh, Nooooo”. Miss G the cheeky bugger had stuck her finger into the paper and started to tear the paper ever so gently. She was peeking through the wrapping “Present mum, look”. I seriously thought the shaking, peeking and guessing didn’t start till a little older. Guess I am wrong. I almost caved in and gave the present to her, but with sticky tape in hand I stuck to my guns and wrapped that present in tape so hard. It wasn’t coming unwrapped, no finger was invading that wrapping for the next 6 days and nor was it going to open that gift – not even on chrissy day.



I hope that your Christmas is merry, your Christmas day is bright and Santa comes down your chimney on Christmas Eve night.

Have a very Merry Christmas and Happy & Safe New Year.

Love Emzilla the Mumzilla xoxo

Santa round two....

This evening we had Miss G's daycare Christmas party. It was at a local indoor playcentre that is awesome, it has roller blades and everything!

Anyway since the last Santa encounter Miss G has been totally scared. I cannot even pull into the shopping centre car park without her saying 'No Santa' to me.

This evening all the kids at the playcentre were sat in front of a huge chair all chanting for Santa, Miss G didn't know what was going on.

Then in he walked and then the freak out began.

My husband was there and the closest standing to Miss G so this time she scrambled up his leg and cringed. She was terrified!

Santa pranced in and walked straight up to her, which didn't help.

Poor bubba begged to leave the party and was even saying when we walked outside that she wanted to go to bed.

The whole trip home she asked 'where Santa was?' and 'no Santa'.

Someone has said to me that Miss G might have an actual phobia of Santa! Possible, however this is pretty much the first year she has known of him.

So my question is, does the Santaphobia exist? Does he fall into the same category as Coulrophobia (phobia of clowns)?

In regards to the last Santa post, I also attempted the sit with Santa & G trick. It didn't work!

My poor girl.... Maybe when she realises what it's all about she will cotton on that the cool kids like the man in the red suit.

Delux kiddy chairs

This chair is stunning, stylish and its for kids.

If my little monster Miss G was a little cleaner and I could be assured this pretty chair wouldn't be smeared with what ever she was holding (edible or not) then this would take prime position in her room.

Check it out... LOVE!

Wouldn't mind one in mummy size too!

Utzon Kids Chair

and so this is Christmas.....

Christmas is one of the times of year I love the most (besides my birthday).... You probably think I am completely mad but I am totally festive.

 
I love the Christmas tree, I enjoy Christmas carols, I love the food (cooking it and eating it), spending time with loved ones and I adore giving presents and seeing how much the receiver loves what we have given them (or sometimes hates it - which isn’t the desired outcome but it sometimes happens with family). And then there is Santa..........

 
Now Santa is a bit of a strange guy. The original story is a lovely one; however what it has morphed into is bizarre. Yes he gives presents, yes he has a jolly tummy that wobbles like a bowl full of jelly and yes he gives gifts to children (well kind of, but I won't go into that just in case I have any junior burgers reading).

 
The thing that gets me about Santa is that year after year hundreds of parents line up at shopping centres to take their children all dressed up, to sit on this old, most times degenerate and almost always guaranteed to be cranky man in a cheap red suit and fake beard.

 
We teach (drill) our children time and time again about stranger danger and not to accept lollies off anyone we don't know, however in the case of Christmas that is all thrown out the window for one happy snap.

 
This year I joined the sheep and lined up to see old Saint Nick as Miss G was asking about "Santa, Santa, Santa", I assume she learnt it from daycare or thanks to The Wiggles and their Rockin' Santa or maybe from me being so into the season, I can’t be too sure.

 
The line was a thirty minute wait and for any of you who have a two year old you will understand that keeping a them occupied, dressed nicely, in the line and behaving semi normal is like wresting a bag filled will a crocodile, octopi and feral cats all together.

 
So we finally reach the front of the line and ol' Nick decided that he wants out to have a lunch break... He turns and catches my snarl and slowly takes his place back in the large oversized sleigh.

 
I walk Miss G in, the tension was so thick. G decided she doesn’t want a bar of it, she completely loses and climbs up my left side, clawing at my shoulder screaming out "No Santa, No Santa, No Santa" (yes it was an instant change, but once again those mothers to two year olds will completely understand). Santa looks at me as if he didn't have the time to deal with yet another screaming child and I look at the line of 60 or so parents laughing at my misfortune for having to wrangle Miss G. The fat guy in the red suit was seriously cranky at us for holding him up. What was possibly a 1 minute ordeal in front of an audience of almost a 100 or so people felt like at least an hour and it was in slow motion.

 
I didn't force Miss G to take the photo (unlike approximately 6 other parents before me), I walked away with my delirious little girl and in complete embarrassment, I could have cried too God knows why.

 
I had to take her away to calm her down, whilst she was screaming "No Santa" at the top of her lungs for at least 10 minutes. A lovely woman (insert extreme sarcasm here) decided she would give me some solid parenting advice said "Why don't you just take the poor love to see Santa". I didn't comment and I kept my cool however in my imagination I took her down.

 
I was exhausted, embarrassed and we will not be doing it again..... anytime soon or at least till she asks me too.

 
Can’t I just tell her that the dude that brings her presents is Daddy?

 

Ohhhh Crap..............

It’s the oldest trick in the book, child goes quiet there is bound to be total mischief and chaos.

 
On Friday morning my lovely angel Miss G woke up at 6:45am and was only chatting away (normally she is yelling demands from 6:30am), my thoughts were a) WOW a sleep in b) Why isn't she demanding from me yet?

 
I decided to get up and check on her after a 2 min relaxing lay in bed.

 
HOLY CRAP....................... there was poo from here to Timbuktu, smothered on her bedding, smeared on her toys and painted on her self. Charming!

 
Miss G has mastered the art of ripping her nappy off (which I am so pleased about) however this time it was the kinder surprise kind. Yes I was surprised and I am sure she was when she realized that it wasn't chocolate.

 
Miss G's beautiful Hello Kitty bedding was now Hello Shitty....

 
After breakfast Miss G and I went to the shops to buy a new Christmas tree. I also purchased some duct tape and some press stud onsies.

 
NOT.HAPPENING.EVER.AGAIN!

Love bites - thanks G!

So my Miss G has been a biting mess of late and I have been the receiver of all things sharp and pointy.

 
Yes I am a twilight fan, but these toddler chompers weren't the ones I had envisaged hooking into my pasty skin.

 
Feeling a little sorry for myself a few nights ago I poured myself a bucket o' wine (no binge drinking here) to think about how I can combat my cannibal child.

 
I know biting is a sign of frustration, however when she can communicate fairly well and gets mostly everything she asks for (before you pipe up - I know that's probably where I have gone wrong), she really shouldn't have much reason to.

 
Example; We go to gymnastics on a Monday (for her to exert some energy, however I am running around after her most of the time asking her to stop touching, pulling, opening etc... it’s exhausting) and Miss G decided she was going to escape from the gymnastics area that is only closed with a small gate.

 
This small gate is the only thing between the car park and 15 crazy two to four year old energetic children.

 
Miss G unlatches the gate and I get there only seconds later to quickly close it (imagine a slow motion dive and my stretched out hand closing the latch - classy huh). I had to take a stand, literally so I stood in front of the gate after squeezing between G and the latch (my back was facing her), she wasn’t happy... This is when it happened. My child bit me on the bum cheek.

 
I was shocked, I mean yeah she had bitten me before... on the arm, leg, hand etc but she went in for the rump and bit me HARD.

What did I do, nothing........

One of the mothers looked at me in shock and the look on her face read 'Control your feral child', another told me to bite her back. Now I know neither of these are going to teach G not to bite me, biting her will send the message that biting is ok, not doing anything well that wont teach her a thing.

So this is where the bucket o' wine (insert brand promotion here wine companies) and internet came into it, as a little research turned into a rant from me.

I know that children go through stages and fazes, these stages will pass but I miss my kissing child (the non kissing is for another post).

Ahhh the terrible two's......

Time really does fly....

Two years and nine months have gone (well that about) since my last blog post.

I used to blog about things that were exciting and me (double income no kids type of exciting) then BOOM! On November, 19th 2010 in bursts Miss G.

Little Miss G recently turned two years old, yes that is where the last two years and nine months has gone and it has gone so ridiculously fast.

I guess if you stumble across this blog you are probably thinking, not another mummy blogger.... Well sadly for you, I am a mummy and I am blogging, but I am not just any mummy I am Emzilla the Mumzilla (insert scary music here)........

This blog will be my thoughts, my venting, my hopes and dreams, my fears and frustrations of being a mum to Miss G and a wife / best friend to my seriously patient husband.